Trick-or-Treat Drive Thru

As spooks and goblins drifted into neighborhoods last night, I witnessed the scariest thing I’ve seen yet on Halloween night… drive thru trick or treating.

It seems that it is now too much for our children to actually expend a few calories in their quest for countless endless candy. (Or is it that we’re too out of shape to accompany them on foot?) So we load up our Darth Vaders, Harry Potters, and Lady Gagas in the back of pick-up trucks, on trailers, or on golf carts, and chauffeur them from house to house. Which still wouldn’t be so bad if they actually had to get out of the vehicle and run up to the door, ring the bell, and yell “Trick or Treat!”

But that’s inconvenience. So in many neighborhoods – especially those with long driveways – the kind folks dispensing the candy sit at the end of the driveway, waiting for the next truck load of kids, and then stand up and put the candy in the bags of the children, without the children actually having to move.

The scene I witnessed last night was eerie. No kids, testing the level of their courage by approaching strange front doors, lit only by light of jack-o-lantern. No kids, running with glee from a house where they scored a full-size chocolate bar. And no quick shuffling parents, trying to keep up with the exuberance of children hopped up on sugar. It was mostly motorized vehicles moving slowly up and down the street as good-willed neighbors delivered the goods curbside.

Most of the children were calm. The parents were subdued. Movement was discouraged. Just take your candy, say “Thank You,” and behave as if you were in school. Orderly, safe, fat, and unhealthy.

The best part (if you asked the child) of being transported through trick-or-treating is that children probably gathered far more candy than they could have on foot. But is that the point? Get as much candy as you can without having to expend any energy, or have an adventure, to get it?

The drive-thru mentality has permeated even Halloween. And we parents are leading the way.